Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Melbourn's Storm

This is the first short story I've ever written regarding the Heroes. The time setting doesn't matter, except that it is definitely before the work-in-progress novel.

It's about 4,800 words - about 17 pages on Word. As usual, let me know what you think of this. Be kind; it's only a first go-round.



This first version of "Melbourn's Storm" has been removed and replaced with this current version.


  1. There are sections here, that need to be edited. But they don't distract from the overall story. Mostly sentences I feel are repeated, but nothing I can just pinpoint to and say 'there'.

    The story was awesome, and I love the fact that Melbourn is a sidhe, and face his mistakes every year. Makes you relate to the character, and to the story (At least I do). I think it is also more realistic that not every shade forgives him.

    I liked the story, very much- and i like your style of writing; very detailed and realistic. two thumbs up!

  2. If I had known this was your style and genre, I'd have been a fan a long time age. Brilliant!! You really took me into your story. I think there are times when we all go back to recount the mistakes we've made, and no, we aren't always forgiven. Thank you !!

  3. Imagyst,

    I'm glad you liked it, and I'm particularly glad you caught the long-term effects of this on Melbourn.

    BTW...I think you're very right about editing; I'm a little close to it right now to do so. My guess is I need to cut about 2 pages.

    Thanks for that. :-)

  4. Valerie,

    This is my style and genre. And Melbourn himself is one of my "Heroes..." - the Work-in-Progress (which, unfortunately, doesn't see much progress lately).

    Since you KNOW I shamelessly pimp out my own stuff, this shouldn't surprise you. You can start reading "Heroes..." in the left-hand column section called Starting Points. It begins with "Prologue - Darkness."

    "Melbourn's Storm" happens some time before the events of the novel.

    Thanks for reading!